Thursday, October 22, 2009

DAY 510 - Day 413 in Recovery Paradise

1 year ago today I wrote:

"I think I may have the flu. My stomach hurts and I feel nauseated with a bit of a headache. I managed to get four half-meals down today. That's 1500 calories. My last visit to the doctor ended up in me taking even yet more pills. If I didn't know better, I'd say my body is falling apart. I take pills for a heart condition, eye drops for glaucoma, pills for acid reflux, nasal spray and pills for my sinus problems, fluoride trays for my teeth, and dealing with recovery from chemo and radiation treatments for my cancer. Life is still good, and I appreciate what I have, but it would be nicer to feel better."

October 22, 2009 - had a fabulous day today. Felt great all day. Talked on the phone all day (yes, I get paid to do that) and ran an after-hours business mixer for the Chamber for 100+ business people. Had a glass of wine and a meatball sandwich. What a difference a year makes.

I still connect with my Tonsil Cancer on-line Forum. It was a tremendous asset in the darker days a year ago. My contribution tonight was:

A lot of us on this forum and in this unfortunate predicament,are in our 40-s to 60+ (All that wild living back in the day). Here is a song written by the Beatles 44 years ago (1965) -time flies when you are having fun - that still holds much relevance to all of us.

I listened to it daily during the darker days of my treatment. I had it on a CD with the Beatles' "Yesterday" [when all my troubles seemed so far away} and Bob Dylan's "Knockin' on Heaven's Door", Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and AC/DC - "Highway to Hell" [quite an eclectic mix, eh?] -that I had the radiation techs play while I was strapped down for treatment.

It was 15 minutes of barely controllable claustrophobia and I soon realized the time slot was equal to about 5 songs. "HELP" was the last song and when the CD got to that song, I knew I was almost done and could hang on - just embracing the words.

Thought I would share the irony of the words if you don't know it. I had been very independent and rarely sick my whole life. It soon became a theme song for me to fully appreciate my wife and friends and how incredibly lucky I was to have them around."

HELP - THE BEATLES (1965)

Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me.

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, oh.


Bob/California


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