Thursday, March 19, 2009

DAY 294 - Day 197 in Recovery Paradise

Had a bad time with mucus this am and couldn't keep my breakfast down. Felt fine afterward and worked mostly a full day. I am scheduled to go back to work full time starting the first of the month. I am still tired a lot, but manage to get through the day. My dry mouth persists and I need liquid/water to keep my mouth from sticking closed when I try to talk.

It seems ages ago when I was too weak to walk and unable to talk much. We still keep the stair lights on at night ever since I fell down the stairs in the dark during my recovery. I feel fine most of the time and often have no thoughts of my previous issues and discomfort. Oddly enough, the most permanent change I am still going through is my distaste for ice cream and chocolate. All things considered, it is a small price to pay for the way I feel now. My family doesn't complain as they know the box of See's candy is safe around me.

Song of the Day: Bob Dylan - One More Cup of Coffee

Saturday, March 14, 2009

DAY 289 - Day 192 in Recovery Paradise

Slept until noon today- no naps during the week and worked mostly full days. My mouth still gets quite dry - but a bottle of water and my "spit pills' seem to make it tolerable. the spit pills still make me clammy and I sweat a lot for an hour or so after I take the pill, but is worth it.

This last year has been both hard and a blur- I was diagnosed in May of last year- went through treatment over the summer and just got back to work (part time in Jan) and mostly full time now...I remember the days dragging on and holding my feeding tube up for gravity feed most of the day with 6 feedings a day. A pain in the neck (pun intended), but saved my I can eat deli sandwiches, bread and most not too spicy foods ( and me with a year supply of chipoltle peppers in the pantry).

Hair grew back darker and a bit curlier, lost a lot of weight (tough weight loss program) gaining most of it back and now that Spring is here- feel pretty damn good about everything. There were many dark days of depression and some feeling sorry for myself this past year and thank God for my wife and family....We are all truly blessed more than we think about and sometimes it takes a bus in our path for us to give thought to the gifts we have around us.

Song of the Day: Bianca Ryan - And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

DAY 278 - Day 181 in Recovery Paradise

Feeling tired again. Just can't seem to catch up on my sleep. I make it through the day - but could be asleep in minutes if I allowed it. Am having a tough time gaining weight. Just don't seem to have the appetite necessary to bulk it up. My voice is getting stronger and my mouth is not so dry. I am taking my "spit" pills and it seems to be helping.

Got a call from my oncologist for a new appointment. For the first time, I feel a bit nervous. I haven't got any tests to report on, so there is no legitimate reason to be nervous.

This is my last month of part time work. Go back to work full time April 1. I just hope that I can get more energized this month. It has been good to ease back into work - as I use my voice a lot and it is getting stronger.

I feel like I have been given a good second shot about doing things with my life. An extension of time. I do seem to appreciate the smaller things and don't sweat what used to be bigger things.
I appreciate family and friends and look forward to giving back more than I used to.

Song of the Day: Bob Dylan Forever Young