DAY 244 Day 147 in Recovery Paradise

Have been away from the blog for awhile. Am focused a lot around my work- have been off for several months and as a sales guy you need to be polished and self confident and I was worried I may have lost my touch. I work for the 2nd largest Chamber of Commerce in California and sell and maintain memberships to local businesses. I love my job and enjoy hooking small businesses up to the resources they need to do well in this economic climate.
My mouth is so dry however, it is hard to finish a conversation without taking multiple sips of water or coffee just to get the words to come out. Although I am back to work part time I worked a full day on Friday and proceeded to sleep until 3p on Saturday and didn't get up Sunday until 11:30a. I worked two full days Monday and Tuesday - because of an event that has a deadline today. I have lost about two lbs this past week and will have to take it easier. I am set to go back to work full time in April and will have to work up to it slowly. I am so tired when I get home - I can barely make it to the bed or couch. Often my mouth gets so dry by mid-morning I am thankful when the phone is not ringing.

I get lots of support from my co-workers and clients I haven't seen in several months. They all say I am looking better. Before my diagnosis, I had gotten overweight and had gone on a diet because I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. Now they hang off me. It is hard to find anything that fits well. I need to gain about 10 more lbs. I just don't have an appetite anymore. I guess my stomach has shrunk.

I can eat a good variety of things now. Have moved up from soup and salad to chili and lasagna. Still can't eat bread, rolls, pizza...mouth is too dry. I have some taste buds back, but I know food must taste better than what I think. Because I couldn't eat anything for so long, I have become obsessed with cookbooks, recipes and cooking shows. I can remember what things tasted like so I can imagine what recipes taste like- but not the same when I make it and eat it. My mouth is still sensitive to spicy food ( which I love) and vinegar, tomatoes - oranges are out.

Big news- I am having the feeding tube removed this Friday. Apprehensive, but excited. From what I understand, the doctor just yanks it out. Will have to bulk up on my pain meds that afternoon. Had to stop taking my blood thinner ( for my heart) this week, so I guess there is a chance of a lot of blood. We will see.

I listen to this song a lot - as I never thought my life would ever end. This has been has been quite the experience and hopefully some lessons learned. I enjoy being with my wife and daughter, feel closer to my sons and certainly appreciate the sunsets more.....

Song of the Day: Tim McGraw - LIve Like You Were Dyin'